Can’t sleep…again

I don’t know if it is jet lag or just me worrying and thinking too much but, once again, I find myself unable to sleep at 6:33am.  This week has been so odd so far.  Having been through Orientation once, I am not quite so enthusiastic the second time around.  I am just ready for classes to start.  I love the town and the view, but every interaction I have seems so superficial.  At Penn I never talk to most of the people who I hung out with during NSO, and I wonder how many of the people I am meeting I am going to spend time with.  My guess is not many.  As always, I miss my family and wish that it was easier to talk to them.  I know I have only been here for a few days, but a common theme in my head has been “it is only for 4 months” which isn’t great.  I don’t really know what it is, but I just kind of feel like I don’t belong.  Maybe once academics start I will feel differently but I am not really into this going out and getting drunk every night thing and most of the time I end up in my room watching shows or browsing the internet.  I guess that I have never really been good at change and, while I think it will be sad to leave the town, I am not sure I will miss the school culture.  Then again, I have only been here for a few days and I still have 4 months.

One thought on “Can’t sleep…again

  1. Personal growth never feels like growth until you look back and see what has changed. When you get ready to leave, certain regret will intrude as your experience ends before you want it to end. Think of how different was your positive anticpation of your second year at Penn than was your first. There will be less that is unfamiliar and more that you will cherish in what is unique. I think that “looking back” and gaining wisdom is what you like so much about history, as should we all.

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